Emeka is a 29-year-old banker in Lagos. He is planning to get married sometime this year but has been having disagreements with his partner. He has been experiencing feelings of monotony and aimlessness over the past few months. He feels stuck and without a sense of purpose. He contemplated resigning multiple times, but he is not sure what job to pivot to. He is not sure what he really wants anymore.

Ayomide is a 32-year-old single woman who currently works as a project manager, a content creator, and a wig vendor. She has worked in six different companies since she graduated. She feels like she has lost her spark and confidence. She has been on anxiety medications, gained weight from stress eating, and is always dreaming of starting a new business. She wonders why she can’t just have stability with relationships, a good career and starting a family like most of her friends. Why is my situation so different? I am a failure at life, she concludes.

Understanding Quarter-Life Crisis

We are mostly familiar with the concept of mid-life crisis, but researchers are increasingly observing a trend that is quite similar, but with one difference: It occurs earlier in life and is now described as quarter-life crisis. What does this mean and how can we overcome it?

Quarter-life crisis is a period of identity crisis and emotional turmoil that occurs between mid-20s and early 30s. It is always accompanied by intense reflection, stress, loneliness, insecurities, and disappointments. This crisis can be triggered by relocation, grief, relationship breakups, career changes or just an identity crisis. You can experience a locked-in crisis or a locked-out crisis. A locked-in crisis occurs when you feel trapped in situations that don’t feel like your core identities, while a locked-out crisis is one where you find it difficult to accomplish a goal you desire.

Many young Nigerians face a quarter-life crisis and career anxiety due to multiple reasons. The most common factor is financial pressure, which is also linked to career progress and stability. A close second risk factor is relationships and marriage (or the absence of it). Another stressful factor contributing to the crisis is the japa vs stay dilemma many young people experience. Many young people are faced with the difficult choice of staying back and struggling to make progress or relocating to another country in the hope of better opportunities. The uncertainties of life in another country, and the struggles within the country makes the decision a very difficult one to make.

Signs of a Quarter-Life Crisis

1. Social Disconnection: These can include relationship stress, withdrawing from family and loved ones, loneliness, and emotional numbness.
2. Emotional Distress: People experiencing a quarter-life crisis may have feelings of high-functioning anxiety, restlessness, hopelessness, and panic attacks.
3. Identity Crisis: This can be evident through a lack of direction and clarity in life, professional uncertainty, lack of motivation, and feeling like your life lacks purpose. Feeling lost and without a sense of clear direction.

Navigating Quarter-Life Crisis

• Distinguish between quarter-life crisis, job or career problems: Be sure that what you are experiencing is not a result of a toxic work environment, exploitative culture, or being a bad fit in your work situation. You may be experiencing the impact of a toxic work environment and not a quarter-life crisis. In which case, retracing your steps and navigating out of that work environment may be all that you need to do.
• Self-reflection: Clarity about a problem helps find a solution faster. Reflect on your emotions. Ask yourselves questions like “What drains me?”, “What's actually missing? (Purpose, creativity, autonomy, impact, work-life balance, growth?)”, and “What do I want out of life?”
• Build a well-being plan: Pay attention to your physical as well as emotional and social wellbeing. The company of friends you choose to keep can impact on your wellbeing. Be very intentional about this.
• Explore: Test before you leap. You can explore options while maintaining stability. This can include having new hobbies, volunteering in fields that interest you, starting side projects in your area of interest, and experimenting.
• Practise self- compassion: Don’t be too harsh on yourself. Give yourself a pat and avoid negative comparisons with peers. Focus on yourself and take things one step at a time, in a strategic manner. Life is not a competition about who is the first to get married, buy a car etc. Go easy on yourself.
• Pursue Connection: Make new friends and strengthen existing relationships.
• Have emergency savings if considering major changes: If you’re thinking about a career shift, it is important to build an emergency fund. You can transition in little steps by reducing unnecessary expenses and saving aggressively.
• Seek professional help: If you are feeling overwhelmed, seekprofessional help to navigate complex feelings and family expectations. They can also help you develop concrete action plans and identify patterns.