The Thursday Tribune Series
Every Thursday, the Asido Foundation shares fresh perspectives, educational insights, and reflections on mental health through a nationally syndicated column in the Nigerian Tribune. Explore our archive of articles that shape conversations and challenge stigma.
Showing 1 - 10 of 235 articles
Realizing the hopes and aspirations of young people – today and for the future
July 16, 2026
Chiamaka is 31, a single university graduate from Enugu who relocated to Lagos three years ago to pursue a career in digital marketing. She is educated, skilled, ambitious, and hardworking. She has a contract job, but the pay is not enough to save meaningfully. She had planned to have a fulfilling career, strong finances and to have started her own family by the time she was 30. She feels like her aspirations are quietly becoming unreachable. She experiences persistent anxiety that makes her feel like the ground keeps shifting beneath her. She scrolls through the achievements of her peers online and feels simultaneously proud of them and quietly diminished by the comparison.
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The Favourite Child Syndrome: The Influence of Parental Preference on Their Children’s Mental Health
July 9, 2026
Bola is the third of five children. Her older sister was "the pretty one." Her younger sister was "the baby." Her two brothers were automatically valuable as boys. She was nothing, not the first, last, a male or particularly beautiful by her family’s standards. She describes her childhood as being invisible. She worked fiercely to excel, graduated top of her class, earned a scholarship to study abroad, and built a successful career in the UK. She financially supports extended family, including siblings and parents. Despite her achievements, her parents still barely acknowledge her. When her "pretty" sister (who's achieved less but married well) visits, it's a celebration. She is resigned to the situation, and it no longer bothers her. Chidi is the first and only son of his parents. He was the favourite amongst his siblings, and he knew this destroyed his family. He was treated like royalty, attended the best schools, studied abroad, and received startup capital from his parents. His sisters, on the other hand, were told to manage and were constantly reminded that they were girls whenever they complained or needed help. His sisters barely speak to him now. Family gatherings are tense. Two sisters have cut off contact entirely. He feels a sense of guilt and feels like he has lost his sisters. He is now trying to reach out to them and make amends. He enjoyed the attention growing up, but with hindsight, he realises now that it was very destructive and certainly not worth it.
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The Loneliness Epidemic Among Men: Why So Many Men Are Alone in a Crowd
July 2, 2026
Chukwudi relocated to Canada for a PhD with hopes of applying for permanent residency for himself and family so his wife and children can join him from Port Harcourt. His wife and children remained temporarily in Port Harcourt hoping that things would move smoothly within 2 to 3 years so the family can be together again. His stipend as a Doctoral student was barely enough for his needs and he had to start doing odd jobs at weekends and nights to have a little extra to send home to his family. Within months of his arrival, the euphoria faded into persistent tiredness and extreme loneliness – especially as the winter cold and social isolation hit him hard. He missed his dear wife and children but had to be strong to encourage her, as she frequently cried on the phone. But after hanging up, he also cried from sheer exhaustion and frustration.
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Fatherhood and Mental Health
June 25, 2026
Femi is a 29-year-old man who grew up with a father who was physically present but emotionally cold, never expressed affection, dismissed tears, and communicated primarily through criticism. When he got married and had his first daughter, he was determined to be different. He read parenting books, attended antenatal classes with his wife, and was present at the birth. By his daughter's first birthday, Femi was experiencing significant anxiety. He was hypervigilant about his emotional responses, constantly monitoring himself for signs that he was "becoming his father." When he raised his voice once during a stressful moment, he spiralled into shame and intrusive thoughts that he was becoming like his father and that he was not a good enough father. He began avoiding being alone with his daughter, which his wife found confusing and hurtful. Femi was caught between the genuine desire to parent differently and an absence of any lived model for what emotionally available fatherhood looked like. Femi reluctantly connected with a psychologist and started therapy sessions. Therapy focused on processing his own childhood, distinguishing his identity from his father's, and building tolerance for normal parenting imperfections.
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Beyond Awareness: Making Elder Abuse Prevention Work.
June 18, 2026
At age 74, Mrs Adeleke believed her retirement savings would support her throughout her later years. Her husband had died in a road traffic accident 25 years earlier and she took care of the children till they became self-sufficient. She and her husband had always planned to grow old and not be a burden (financial or otherwise) on the children. However, after entrusting a relative who was an investment consultant with managing her finances, she discovered that a significant portion of her savings had been withdrawn without her consent. The financial loss left her unable to meet basic needs and caused severe emotional distress. She became withdrawn, stopped attending community activities, and developed symptoms of depression. This resulted in other health complications and worsened her health. She stopped going for her regular medical checkups until she suffered a stroke and was admitted in hospital. An 82-year-old widower, Mr Bilal, relied on a family caregiver after suffering mobility challenges. His children placed the family caregiver on a comfortable salary to take good care of him and assist him around the house. Over time, the caregiver began using threats, insults, and intimidation to control his daily activities. His other family members noticed that he had become unusually quiet and fearful. The family sent both of them away to the village for a weekend and used the opportunity to secretly install cameras around the house. What they saw and heard over the next few days shocked them to the marrow. They arrested the family caregiver and made alternative arrangements. Mrs Akpan is an 88-year-old woman living with early-stage dementia. Her children are living abroad, and she lived alone until last year, when she was admitted to a residential care facility, where the GP that reviews the residents periodically identified signs of neglect after a few months in the facility. She had been missing her medications, had poor nutrition, and had limited social engagement, which contributed to worsening cognitive symptoms and increased confusion. Following comprehensive audit investigations, care standards were improved, staff received additional training, and regular monitoring systems were introduced. Her physical and emotional well-being subsequently improved, highlighting the importance of accountability and quality care systems.
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When Provision Becomes a Prison: Financial Pressure and Men's Mental Health Crisis
June 11, 2026
Kunle killed himself just before Christmas. He was a 35-year-old poultry farmer living in Lagos. He was living in his parents’ house since he graduated from the university eight years before his death, due to the high cost of rent in Lagos. He has been responsible for the family’s finances since he was 21-years-old. As the eldest son of five children, he was expected to provide for the family. The financial pressure has been overwhelming for him over the years, and he has been feeling hopeless. He kept postponing marriage until his siblings graduated from university and were financially stable. He was anticipating relief soon when he heard that his youngest sister at the university had gotten pregnant, and he is now expected to fend for her and the unborn child. While managing this unexpected news, he postponed his planned introduction to his long-term girlfriend’s family. He had a big argument with his girlfriend, only to get to his poultry farm to meet hundreds of dead poultry. Only a few had died the previous day from an infection, and he thought they had protected the others via an expensive treatment by the veterinary doctor. He had been looking forward to making a tidy profit from Christmas sales. The seemingly hopeless situation overwhelmed him, and he developed severe depression. He ended it all a few days later when his siblings kept calling him for one financial assistance or the other. Chinonso is a 40-year-old man who has worked as an engineer for 12 years. He has an excellent job, a good salary and a clear career path. His entire identity is that of a successful engineer who can provide for his family. He took immense pride in his hard work and ability to provide financially, and he felt those who were unemployed or struggling were simply lazy or not as good as he was. Until his company downsized, and he was retrenched. His entire sense of self and his world came tumbling down. He had an immediate identity crisis and started wondering who he was without his job and ability to provide. During the eight months of being unemployed, he had severe depression and panic attacks. He also started to drink heavily and socially became withdrawn. Even though he eventually got another job, his identity damage remained, and he continues to struggle with a fear of permanent failure. Aliyu started using drugs three years ago and is now addicted. It started as a coping mechanism. His colleagues suggested it to boost his productivity at work. Soon, he began to use it even when he was not working, as he realised it took his mind off stress and struggles. Now, the drug he started using to work more, so he could make more money for his family, is costing him over 50% of his income. He is unable to work as much as he used to, but the cost of drugs keeps increasing, and he has started starving himself to afford the drugs. What sort of man would he be if he could not pay the bills of his family?
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Sincere Listening is an Act of Kindness
June 4, 2026
Afolabi and Faruk are roommates at the university. Afolabi is in his final year and is really troubled by financial worries. His father has passed on after a road traffic accident and he is the firstborn. His mother is devastated, and her petty business can hardly sustain the family. He is worried about his younger siblings and how he needs to graduate soon and hopefully start earning a salary so he can support his mother and younger siblings. He has been so engrossed in his sad thoughts that he was unaware that Faruk had been speaking to him…until he came and tapped his shoulder. He was jolted out of his reverie and asked Faruk what he wanted. Faruk simply pulled a chair close to his bed and asked him what the matter was. ‘Afolabi, I have been speaking to you, but you appeared oblivious. I have also noticed that you have been very moody the past few weeks. I can imagine the pain of your father’s sudden demise must really hurt. How are you really coping? How are things with your Mum and the rest of the family?’
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Flourish and Thrive: Investing in Boys for Stronger Families and Communities
May 21, 2026
Chidi is a 16-year-old boy who was always emotional as a child. He cried easily, loved his mother intensely, and enjoyed art and music. His father hated this. "You're too soft. Too feminine. I need to toughen you up." With this, his father began beating him for crying, forced him into sports he hated, and compared him to his more ‘masculine’ cousins. With time, Chidi stopped crying and participating in his interests. He also stopped showing any emotion and started fighting at school. He has now started self-harming and using drugs to numb his emotions. His family says he needs more discipline and tougher love. The reality is that he's a traumatised teenager with severe depression and substance use, dying inside while everyone tells him to be a man.
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Families, Inequalities and Child Wellbeing
May 14, 2026
The population of children and adolescents aged 0-17 in Nigeria is nearly 107 million, almost half of Nigeria’s population, according to UNICEF Nigeria. UNICEF Nigeria also reports that 67.5% of children between the ages of 0 and 17 in Nigeria live in multidimensional poverty. This means they lack adequate nutrition, healthcare, education, housing, water and sanitation. It is also reported that 1 in 3 children in Nigeria are out of school. Children are also not exempt from the humanitarian crises in the country and form the highest percentage of people who need mental health and psychosocial support (MHPSS). Considering that 75% of mental health issues start before the age of 18 and suicide is a leading cause of death among adolescents, children's well-being and the impact of the increasing inequalities in the country become glaring. The 15th of May is the International Day of Families. The 2026 theme, Families, Inequalities and Child Wellbeing, focuses on the increasing inequalities, gaps in healthcare and other resources and the influence on the well-being of children.
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Emotional Impact of Marriage Pressure in Your 30s and Beyond
May 7, 2026
Folake is a 34-year-old successful lawyer who is well-travelled and has a thriving career. Despite this, at every family gathering, she braces herself for the interrogation. Last Christmas, her aunt pulled her aside with concern: "We're worried about you. You're becoming too successful. Men are intimidated. You need to tone it down if you want to find a husband." Another relative suggested, "Maybe you should stop being so selective. Time is running out." Her mother cries sometimes, asking what she did wrong, that her daughter is "still single at this age." Folake has developed severe anxiety. She avoids family events. She's seeing a therapist for depression triggered by constant feelings of failure despite professional success. She has started questioning her self-worth and wondering if she should just settle for just anyone available, even if it is against her better judgment due to lack of compatibility. Perhaps that way, she can just get the pressure off her back.
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